My participation in this course in the North of Ireland has further developed my understanding of the world and justice movements. To be honest, I did not directly connect my experiences during this course to my career aspirations, which are in the film industry. In fact, I found myself in a bit of a crisis when it came to sizing up what I had wanted to pursue after college, and what individuals we talked to have committed their lives to. There were several moments on the trip where I considered going a completely different path– especially after we spoke to Paul O’Connor from the Pat Finucane Center. I thought the work he was doing was incredibly admirable and while Paul said the Center could not necessarily attain justice for its clients, I still found that they were doing considerable work in offering closure to people who experienced trauma from the conflict. It took reflection after the course to understand that my original career aspirations could align with what I learned and even uplift it. After traveling around the North and talking to locals, it’s clear that there are so many stories that can be written, especially from people who desperately want to be heard. As a writer, I can narratively capture those and I hope to write something about my time in the North of Ireland that can be adapted for the screen.

When I made my first blog post, I had consumed a lot of media about the North of Ireland, but it did not feel real. After the first talk we had on June 2nd with Professor Bill Rolston, the history we learned became palpable. Before coming to the North, I was skeptical about those who claimed the conflict had roots going back as far as seven hundred years. However, it became clear to me that the conflict did not start in the 1960s or with Partition, but rather, at least, four hundred years ago with the forcible removal of Ulster Scots from their lands and placement onto plantations, put forth after the ethnic cleansing of Irish Catholics from their lands. It was hard to reconcile that such injustices occurred that have been either forgotten or rewritten to cleanse the harm done by the British. Something I had difficulty with was hearing from the Royal Ulster Constabulary (RUC) on June 3rd. Hearing from the Chairmen of the RUC came after we heard from a panel of nationalists, loyalists, and a former British soldier, Lee Lavis– the last of whom eloquently explained the socialization that soldiers go through to equip them to act violently on behalf of the state. I could not help but think back to Lee’s words as we heard from the Chairmen of the RUC, who did not hesitate to use the word “terrorist” to describe anyone outside of the state who took up arms. Even if I did not agree with the stances of the paramilitaries who took up arms, there was a severe lack of nuance and historical context in the conversation that frustrated me. As I heard from the RUC, I unfortunately let my emotions take over, though I had questions that came up as they spoke to our class. Above all, the question I wish I could have asked in the moment is where they would place the start of the conflict. I came into this course with a focus on history, as it is my minor, but I did not realize it would be such a major part of the course. Ultimately, history informs the actions taken by all the sides of the conflict– for Republicans, it was the history of man-made famine and occupation. For loyalists, it was the historic cultural connection to Britain. For the British state, it was an imperial pursuit that fell in line with their other efforts to colonize– reaching from Myanmar to what became The United States.